DON'T ARGUE WITH CHILDREN
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was
a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah
was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could
not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I
get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's art work. As she got to
one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in
a minute."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a
beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had
kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl
thought about this revelation for while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"
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A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning
home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and
two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them
up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to
look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,
or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang
out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the
matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you
know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes", the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty!